I went to Gnostic Mass on Sunday Night and was profoundly moved, again. It was encouraging to take my friend C. with me and see her respond to it as I did to my first Gnostic Mass. I have taken two other female friends to Gnostic Masses and their response was pretty much the same. They thought it was sexist and that the priestess “didn’t do much.” One friend said, “Well, now I know why you like it,” referring to the nudity. (Insert heavy sigh here.)
C., on the other hand, understood that the priestess is Nuit, and embodies the Universe, and she was as excited and impressed as I was the first time I saw one. It was nice to have a woman confirm that I wasn’t crazy for being so involved and caught up in the beauty and power of it. She felt the energy and the magick of the ritual, as I did. It was nice to have someone else, someone that I have known for a long time, like C., to affirm what I have been feeling and experiencing.
The Gnostic Mass has become a necessity for me. I am not quite content without it, even if the priest and priestess are learning the ritual. I cannot fully explain why, but the Gnostic Mass answers a need in me that I did not know that I had.
I am seriously considering j being baptized into the Ecclesia Gnostica Catholica (EGC). I have been going to the Oasis since July or August of 2010 and they have gotten used to seeing me, and they welcome me. That means a lot. Everything I have been to with them has been good. They’re young, and sometimes a little crazy, but it feels good.
This last Sunday after the Mass, I mentioned to the priestess that I was seriously thinking about being baptized into the EGC, and she said right there that she would sponsor me if I did that. You have to have two people speak for you and stand with you at the baptism. It means more to me than I can say that she is willing to stand with me, and I think it more than good fortune that she is blessed with the same name as the Shekinah of Wisdom Herself. She told me that it was evident to her that I was there for the spirituality of it, and that was why she would stand for me. I really can’t say how much this means to me or how much gratitude I feel.
I do not fully understand the Book of the Law, but I am drawn to it, and I read it nearly every day at this point. I think on it a lot. I don’t know how far I would go with this, maybe I would be happy just being baptized and confirmed into the EGC as a lay member and residing there for a while. But I do know that there is something about Thelema that draws me to it. I plan to keep reading Thelemic material and thinking about it. It’s something that, again, is drawing me near. I don’t understand that fully, nor do I understand how it will interface with my Feri training and my Feri work. But I know that I desire to go in that direction and learn more of Nuit and the Company of Heaven. That is probably enough for now.